Bill's Random Mind

My time with Marilyn was brief but intense. I miss her still.

I played Alice in three episodes of The Brady Bunch, while Ann B. Davis was out. I must have done okay, because nobody even noticed.

An ever-evolving collection of:

incidents from my eventful life
musings and profound thoughts
philosophies that guide my life

Welcome to my world!

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

The first time I heard the musical saw, was when I worked on a couple of broadcasts of the radio show, A Prairie Home Companion, I was hooked immediately. It took years of hard work, but I finally mastered it. So it bugs me when people say things like, "You're very talented. Can you play any real instruments?

The world sucks. If it didn't, we’d fall off.

Everybody is someone else's weirdo.

I took dozens of seminars at New World Dynamics Personal Development Seminars, before they told me I must learn to love myself. Now that I have, I'm gloriously self-actualized. (Circa 1976)

Jack & Jackie laughed politely when I photo bombed them, but I was never invited back to the Kennedy Compound at Hyannis Port again.

I worked summers in a pickle factory for many years, and even after I graduated from college. It was a crazy and often back breaking job -- but liked it and was grateful for the employment. We also made canned chili, potato chips, mayonnaise and many other products. They were terrific, but I can say without equivocation, don't ever eat pickle relish!

That sweet-looking girl behind the cash register is the notorious Bonnie Parker, of Bonnie & Clyde fame. She was just a tiny little thing, but depression-era Texas wasn't big enough to hold her. Say what you will, she always gave me correct change. (Dallas, TX, 1929.)

I was a terrific vacuum cleaner salesman. I'd go anywhere and do anything to close a sale. Still I must admit, it was our line of special attachments that was ultimately responsible for my success. (circa 1952)

I'm happy to say my views have softened over the years. (New York 1962)

My family was scandalized when I began modeling for artists, but I've always believed in supporting the arts. (circa 1923)

Elvis got homesick a lot, but otherwise he was a good soldier, and I enjoyed serving with him. (Basic training, Fort Hood, Texas 1958)

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

It's easy to be happy, but it's hard to be easy.

A neighbor, who wrote for the "women's page" of the Tacoma News Tribune, thought it would be fun to feature our family in an article about healthy eating. The accompanying recipe wasn't my mom's, the casserole dish she's holding was empty, we never dressed this well at dinner, nor did the table ever look so nice. We'd eaten hot dogs earlier that night, while my mom stressed herself out trying to make things perfect. I guess you could call this an early example of "fake news." (1962)

It's better to do the right job, then to do the job right.

A gentleman is a man who can play the saxophone -- but doesn't

-- WC Fields

The cheapest way to pay for things is with money.

With my dear VyNell 1970. It was she who taught me how to have a real, relationship with another human being. Sadly, she expired in 1972; her delicate body simply gave out. I miss her terribly.

I thought "Senior Prom" mreant we were supposed to bring a senior citizen date. I took Miss. Wallphut, the retiring school librarian. The quiet ones can surprise you. She was a maniac!

I hated leaving the Emerald City. My life there had been a wonder, but it was time to go back and face reality back in

good old Kansas.

The 1st secret about playing the musical saw is that one doesn't have to be very good to get work; everyone wants a sawplayer in their show's line up. The 2nd secret is that there aren't many sawplayers out there, so it's pretty easy to become one of the best. However, I can say without bragging, in my prime, I was astonishing.

Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off now.

There were some great perks to being a famous fashion model, even so, I didn't really enjoy it. After a while, it all seemed so superficial, and I found the people plastic.

My college ROTC unit's close order marching drills were unforgettable. Strangely, none of us were called up to active duty.